John Mayer loves dudes

Right before the holiday, an apparently drunken John Mayer and Samantha Ronson decided to spread some Christmas cheer to the paparazzi by letting them and bystanders film their antics including Samantha and John loudly describing a night of passion which confirms several of my suspicions:
1. John Mayer loves BJs from dudes.
2. Samantha Ronson is a bisexual man.
3. Lindsay Lohan would stab both of them for the tiniest fleck of coke.
Granted, that last one isn't exactly new information, I thought I'd toss it out there to remind John and Samantha to tie bells to their knife drawers. I'm a helper.

LiLo is Ginger prison meat

With only a week left until she goes to jail for less than five minutes, lesbian gangs are already salivating at the opportunity to get a piece of Lindsay Lohan which makes perfect sense. According to my sources, one ginger vagina is worth roughly twice the smokes because of its “patented devil magic.” (I’m allowed to count...hirt on straight. Women grab each other like animals when the guards aren’t looking. It’s disgusting.”
Of course, the most hilarious part of this story is that a 38-year-old convict probably just gave Lindsay more helpful advice than her mother has during her entire life. Unless “Hey, could you sign a couple of blank checks before you leave?” counts as motherly wisdom. I’m not a therapist.

Aubrey O'Day isn't good enough for Sam Ronson?

Aubrey O'Day at the NASCAR Champion's Party at Lavo nightclub in Las Vegas (12/4)
Ouch, how embarrassing. There's not a roof high enough to jump off of to get rid of the shame of being ignored by Sam Ronson From the New York Post:
Bisexual Aubrey O'Day was looking to give Li...bly turn down Aubrey O'Day? Most red-blooded men would gnaw off their own arm to bang that chick. Either Sam still feels some sort of commitment to Lindsay, or she's no longer playing for the other team. Either way, hopefully Aubrey's learned from this whole experience that if she really wants to turn on a girl like Sam, she doesn't need to shake her ass . . . she needs to lick her own eyebrows.

Lindsay Lohan linked to female DJ friend

From a source: "Maybe she was tired of the boys and that is why she decided to spice it up with BFF Samantha Ronson. Here she gets a boy and a girl packaged all into one. Now I would have no bad things to say about either if Samantha wasn’t deeply involved in alcohol and drugs. Not the best influence for a rehabbed Lindsay Lohan."
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